How to Talk to a Bereaved Colleague

When a co-worker has suffered a recent loss, it can be difficult to know how to express your sympathy. You want to support them, but you don't want to say the wrong thing either. Far too many people just try to act like nothing has happened. Often that's the worst thing you can do, as it can come across as not acknowledging their grief and sadness.

People who have been bereaved are very unlikely to take condolences and words of comfort in the wrong way, so don't be shy about speaking to them, but be sensitive in your approach. Before you say anything, check your own emotions. You don't want to sound upbeat and cheery with a tone suggesting they should pull their socks up' or that 'they'll bounce back'.

At the same time, don't sound too doom and gloom and, above all, don't make the conversation about you. Saying things like 'I know how you feel' or 'a similar thing happened to me' probably aren't the wisest words. Offering advice is also a little tactless, because no two people grieve in the same way.

Instead, be brief but genuine by telling them you're sorry for their loss and asking if there's anything you can do to help. If they share something about the deceased with you, try and remember a happy story they've told you about them in the past and share that memory with them.

Speaking to a bereaved colleague is always a way of showing your support, just choose your words in advance and make sure they come from the heart.